“How does it feel to be done?” “Ehhhh”

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Once again I went MIA on here, and my “excuse” is I was finishing off my thesis project. I’ll get back to the Auroville and Instagram posts, but I wanted to write about this strange feeling I have been experiencing since submitting my thesis. It’s been 8 years leading up to this moment, three years was spent at TAFE, three years for Bachelors and two years for Masters. 8 years is a long time, I’ve watched my niece go from a new-born baby at the end of first year at TAFE to a seven year old who I have conversations with. World Was II only lasted for 6 years! Anyway, last night was MSDx, which is the end of semester exhibition and one question I got from people was “How does it feel to be done?” And let’s just say, I didn’t have the expected response.

I think this is important to mention before I continue with this post, typically thesis is your final subject in your course. Whether you do two subjects plus a studio each semester, or you do some intensives over summer and winters, but thesis is seen as the big blowout. I don’t have that romantic finish to my education, I still have two elective subjects to complete. Despite this, finishing design thesis (your final design studio) is a big milestone.

Anyway, back to last night. My overall feeling towards finishing has been, I guess the best way to put it is deflated. There was a sense of relief having drinks after our final presentation, but for the most part there hasn’t been any excitement. And there isn’t a lack of excitement because of the stress of finding a job now, or finishing other subjects. The lack of excitement, or the ‘ehhh’ response comes from a very inward personal feeling I’ve had for years.

It’s hard to explain this feeling, but there’s a reason why I didn’t attend my undergrad graduation. There’s a reason why I’ve thought about skipping my masters graduation. Perhaps this is something I need to work on, but I have no idea what it really is so I have no idea where to begin.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do get excited. I’m excited about the near future, the distant future, just the future in general. I’m excited for the next chapter of my life, which if you’ve followed this blog for the past year, you know the story. I’m excited to develop my photography and videography, I’m excited to develop my writing, my network and my brand. I’m most excited about an opportunity that I can’t quite talk about yet. Perhaps all this excitement for the next thing is the reason why I don’t dwell on the past or focus on accomplishments, because there is always the next thing.

I’ll leave it there, on a rather positive note (which I didn’t think would happen when I started writing this). Despite my ‘ehhh’ feelings, I do want to go on record to say that it actually has been a great semester and design thesis studio. I’ll do a whole post dedicated to it to explain the thesis studio to you from my perspective, so keep an eye out for that. I do want to thank Jeremy, Mark and Lola from Breathe Architecture, who were our tutors, and my classmates. I’m excited to see where you all go in the future!

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